there's so much i want and i'm beginning to feel like i'm in over my head with all of these dreams and plans of mine. i want more than what i already have. i'm ready for change, i'm ready for experience, i need the sense of new...and i have no idea how to go about doing so.
i need resources, i need solid guidance to back me up. and maybe not in the form of a person. i just need to know i have someone or something telling me to go.
i'm so focused on making something for myself in journalism and magazines but i feel like i'm lacking something special, something good, different...like talent. a few weeks ago some old man said i had the look of an actress. and while i was on the verge of the slump i've just fallen into, i thought...why not? who am i to say i have no talent when i've never given it a shot? but really, who am i kidding.
some nights i have these dreams i'm in a hit-breakout movie with ellen page and scarlett johansson and it's the best realtiy i can imagine. or i'm writing for us weekly and jet-setting from new york to los angeles covering red carpet events and parties, surrounded by glamor and famous faces as friends.i'm just so wrapped up in this celebrity crazed culture that i want a taste of it.
the idea of being known, of grasping my dreams, proving people wrong and being completely happy is what i dream of.
i just want something more.
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